Help - My Older Child Is Refusing Food!

Help - my older child is refusing food!

Many parents ask us what to do when their first child (who was maybe baby-led weaned) starts refusing food when they’re weaning their younger sibling. It might seem really confusing - why on earth would your child, who previously loved feeding themselves and enjoyed a wide range of foods, suddenly become fussy?

Well, something similar happens with children who weren’t baby-led weaned, too, when parents are weaning their younger sibling.

What’s this about?

If this behaviour coincides with when you’re weaning their younger sibling, then it’s easy to get misled into thinking that the problem is eating or food-related. It can be confusing when your child seems to be becoming a fussy eater, or suddenly doesn’t like foods they used to love.

In this situation, chances are that it’s not about food or their likes or dislikes; it’s about attention. Children who were spoon-fed during weaning often suddenly demand to be spoon-fed or say they can’t feed themselves when they see parents spoon-feeding their younger sibling. This is because parents are giving a lot of attention to the child they’re weaning during mealtimes. During those periods, the older child may feel insecure and want the one-to-one time during mealtimes that they see their sibling getting.

Young children often don’t have the self-awareness to make sense of complex feelings in the way that we can, as adults. They also don’t have the vocabulary to explain how they’re feeling and what they need, when their feelings are complex. The way to get what they need, then, is to show you that they need you just as much as their sibling does, which they do by regressing to a previous stage. None of this is thought out, or deliberately manipulative. Children are wired to survive, and the relationship with you is fundamental for this. They are wired to get you to respond to their needs, first and foremost.

So when baby-led weaned children feel insecure at mealtimes, what can they do? Well, they can’t regress to spoon-feeding, as they weren’t spoon-fed! So they can’t demand to be spoon fed, but they can refuse food as a way of getting you to pay them more attention.

  

What can I do?

If you understand that this isn’t food-related and your child wants attention, then you can respond appropriately. Some ideas that might help are:

-         Include your older child in mealtime conversations, so it really becomes a group time. Don’t assume they can eat while you turn your attention to your other little one. If your attention is focused on your younger child, your older child will notice this – it’s a big deal to them.

-         Give your older child an important role in what’s happening. You could do this by talking to them about what you’re giving your younger child today and asking for their help, for example in preparing it (e.g. peeling the banana or drizzling oil over some veggies). You could also explain that you need their help in showing their younger sibling how yummy food is, how we all enjoy food, or how to eat food.

-         Give your older child some ownership and control over the process. Let your older child help to choose what you give your younger child; i.e. you make a high level choice (vegetables) and they get to choose something you include in everyone’s meal. Frame it that you need their help in deciding what you all have today. This way, you still get to give your younger child an A or B choice, to help them develop their own choice-making abilities.

-         Make sure everybody has similar-looking foods on their plate, so you’re all eating food in the same form (e.g. so everybody has steamed broccoli).

-         Give your older child extra attention at other times and make them feel important – ask for their help and opinions day to day so they feel needed.

-         Familiarise your older child with what’s happening and frame it as a joint endeavour. Talk to them often at other times about what we are doing so that they are prepared for what will happen at mealtimes (e.g. when we have lunch we’re going to teach your baby sister/brother all about the yummy food we eat). It’ll be less likely to make them feel suddenly insecure at mealtimes.

It’s important to remain mindful of times when it’s normal for children to become fussier (i.e. when they go through periods of neophobia – fear of new foods) and to support them through this.

So whenever your child behaves differently with food, take a step back and work out what it’s really about. Decide whether the issue is food-related, or whether your child is regressing, so that you can respond in a way that helps them grow and develop.

Image courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos,net

We like to set our little ones a good example and encourage sharing. We don't mind you using any of the information, recipes and tips from our website, all we ask is that you credit us hard-working mummies here at Yummy Discoveries. 

Thank you x

©Yummy Discoveries Ltd.

Sausage and Lentil Simmer

November 5^th marks the start of National Sausage Week so we thought it would be a good time to share a recipe which has been a massive hit in our household. We used to munch on this before we went out trick or treating and now I’m a parent I know why – the kids love it so it fills them up and they have no space for the sweets!

Before you start on this recipe, check to see if the lentils need soaking overnight. Tins of lentils often arrive pre-soaked but are often a little more expensive.

Here’s our family recipe:

Sausage and Lentil Simmer

Glug of oil

8 sausages

1 onion (chopped)

1 carrot or 1 stick of celery(chopped)

2-3 garlic cloves (crushed)

200g puy, green or red split lentils (soaked beforehand)

1 pint chicken or beef stock

400g Tinned Chopped Tomatoes

Splash of white wine vinegar or balsamic vinegar

Several sprigs of fresh rosemary

1. In a large pan (with a lid), heat the oil over a medium heat
2. Pop the sausages in and allow them to sizzle for 8-10 minutes, turning them regularly to ensure they brown all over. Depending on how fatty your sausages are, you may like to pour away some of the fat at this point
3. Remove the sausages and set aside, then add the onions and garlic and cook until the onions start to soften
4. Stir in the rest of the ingredients, add the sausages, pop the lid on and leave to simmer on a low heat for 45 minutes. You may need to add a little more water if the lentils get thirsty!
5. Serve with crusty bread to mop up the sauce or mash potato and veggies

Tip:  Try switching the sausages for 500g skinless and boneless chicken thighs

Adult add-on: At Stage 2, add some chopped bacon, pancetta or chorizo for a salty slant

Adult add-on: At Stage 3, add a generous slosh of red wine to add depth to the flavour

Leftovers: Freeze any leftovers, the sauce tastes even better a couple of weeks later

We like to set our little ones a good example and encourage sharing. We don't mind you using any of the information, recipes and tips from our website, all we ask is that you credit us hard-working mummies here at Yummy Discoveries. 

Thank you x

©Yummy Discoveries Ltd.

Eating Out With a Fussy Eater

Eating Out With a Fussy Eater

So you’ve gone out for dinner as a family and your little one has ordered the sausage beans and chips from the menu...again! It’s a difficult situation for any parent since at least you know he will eat the meal and so you won't be wasting your money, but a part of you would love for him to try the lasagne or moussaka.  

There is a solution but you need to pull together as a family to work through it.

• When ordering, offer your little one a choice of two dishes which you are happy for them to have. If you do not want them ordering the fish fingers then don’t offer it. You make the big decisions (baked beans or chips) and they make the small decisions (chips). Whether you make this a choice around the main dish or side dish is up to you, but the important thing is your child has made a choice.
• When the meals arrive, put all the dishes in the middle of the table and each person (including adults) has a clean plate on to which you will serve portions of the different foods, so you each have lots of little things of everything.

It will certainly be an interesting plate of food, but let’s explain the reasons behind this:

• Smaller portions of a new foods are easier for a child to consider eating than a whole plateful. A slice of omelette is more manageable than a whole omelette
• Seeing everyone eating the same foods will encourage copying and on a subconscious level reassure your little one that the food is safe to eat
• Serving yourself can be fun for a child and take the focus of the eating
• You can control how much of one food is consumed – a whole plate of chips or 6 chipsY
• Your little one will still feel empowered as they chose the food (chips) which they are eating yet you can be happy that there are other foods to encourage variety

Remember, a child needs to be exposed to a new food 16-18 times before they may “like” it so don’t be disheartened if at first the new foods are nibbled or shunned. Keep offering, serving and try not make a big deal out of it and things will change.

Image courtesy of www.freedigitalphotos.net

 

We like to set our little ones a good example and encourage sharing. We don't mind you using any of the information, recipes and tips from our website, all we ask is that you credit us hard-working mummies here at Yummy Discoveries. 

Thank you x

©Yummy Discoveries Ltd.

Winter Warmer Stew

Its Autumn; the leaves are turning golden, the nights are drawing in and its getting colder....but fireworks night is just around the corner!!  What's better than coming in from the cold, after you have been standing around in a field, to a home that smells of delicious food cooking?

We have the recipe for a lovely Warming Stew, that will taste so good after coming in from the cold it will be as if you have wrapped yourself up in a blanket!  Full of protein and healthy vegetables this meal is ideal for all the family.  How can something so delicious take only 30 minutes to prepare?  Try it and find out!

Winter Warmer Stew

Preparation Time: 30 minutes

Cooking time 2 hours

Serves 2 adults and 2 children

For the stew:

400g beef (diced)

400ml beef stock (if you do not have home made stock try using stock cubes with low salt content)

1 large shallot (chopped)

1 leek (chopped)

3 carrots (diced)

½ small swede (diced)

Handful mushrooms (halved)

2 cloves of garlic

1 Tsp cayenne pepper

1 Tsp mixed herbs

1 bay leaf

Glug olive oil

For the dumplings:

100g self raising flour

50g vegetable suet

5 Tbsp water

TO SERVE: Delicious with warm crusty bread and/or green beans

1.      Pre heat oven to 150C (130 Fan), gas mark 2

2.      Heat the oil in a large pan over a low heat and gently cook the shallot, garlic, leek, carrots, swede

3.      Turn up the heat and add the beef to the pan and brown.  Stir in the mixed herbs and cayenne pepper

4.      Add the mushrooms and cook for a few more minutes

5.      Pour over the stock, add the bay leaf and stir. 

6.      Bring to the boil then place the ingredients into a tagine or casserole dish with a lid and put it in the oven for about 1 hour and 15 minutes

7.      Meanwhile to make the dumplings mixing the flour and suet together and slowly add the water to create a sticky dough

8.      Using your hands make the dough into 8 balls, pop on a plate and cover and place in the fridge

9.      After the stew has been in the oven for about 1 hour and 15 minutes, pop the dumplings into the stew, ensuring they are immersed into the liquid and place the lid back on the dish.  Cook for a further 45 minutes.

Tip: The longer the stew is cooking for the more tender the meat will become.

Adult-Add on: Add some smoked bacon or pancetta batons at step 2

Adult-Add on: For depth of flavour add a slosh of red wine at step 5

Image Copyright to Yummy Discoveries Ltd

We like to set our little ones a good example and encourage sharing. We don't mind you using any of the information, recipes and tips from our website, all we ask is that you credit us hard-working mummies here at Yummy Discoveries. 

Thank you x

©Yummy Discoveries Ltd.