The Telegraph recently reported
that Orlando Bloom’s wife, Miranda Kerr, declared that she didn’t have an
epidural because she didn’t want a ‘drugged up baby’
for original article see:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/women_shealth/9385158/Whatever-Victorias-Secret-model-Miranda-Kerr-says-dont-be-a-pain-about-epidurals.html#
There seems to have been quite a
backlash, as her comment can seem judgmental towards those women
who choose to have them. As the Telegraph comments:
"...there is no evidence that
epidurals have a detrimental effect on the baby and they have a valid role in
reducing birth trauma and foetal distress"
Many
mothers experience anxiety around birth, particularly if it’s their
first child. There can be so much pressure, from various directions, to give
birth naturally without pain relief, and everyone seems to have an opinion.
Women can find themselves feeling guilty and like they’re already making
‘selfish’ choices; in other words, they can receive the message that they’re a
bad mother before they’ve even had their baby!
Uncertainty is difficult. From a psychological point of
view, one of the things people find most difficult in life is uncertainty, and
with birth there is so much that remains uncertain. As we all know, you can spend
hours writing your birth plan but it’s more luck than planning if it goes the
way you want. That’s because there are so many variables you can’t control and
things can change very quickly while you’re in labour. Not to mention the fact
that you have no real idea about how your life will change after your baby is
born - if you’re a first time mother, for example - or what you might have to
deal with (e.g. autism, behaviour problems, medical problems or other things
that every mother dreads).
Take a moment to pause and ground yourself. Take a moment to
reflect on what really feels right for you and why among all the opinions, pressure and potential judgment flying
around. Otherwise you might end up doing something you feel pressured into
during birth, rather than doing what you genuinely feel is right for you and
your baby. That can lead to birth being traumatic, distressing and more
anxiety-provoking than it needs to be, followed by feelings of anger at feeling
compromised and guilt about not doing what you thought was best, whether things
go the way you intended or not. Beginning your time as a mum feeling like that is not what
anyone wants!
The wellbeing of mum and baby are linked. Although foetal wellbeing is
obviously paramount, YOU are there too, and your wellbeing is inextricably
interlinked with that of your baby, both before and after birth. Remember,
anxiety manifests physically (e.g. via tension or migraines) as well as
emotionally. The truth is that there IS no right or wrong answer and every
birth is unique. Therefore, what’s right for you and your baby is also unique. If you can navigate the minefield
of opinions on birth and decide whether to have an epidural based on what you
feel is right for you, you are more likely to feel safer, calmer and more
physically relaxed during birth.
Remain flexible in your expectations, and be
aware that things may not go according to your plan. If things do go differently
than you expected, don’t give yourself a hard time. You can’t control what
happens and nothing can change that fact. Any decisions you and your partner
make during birth are often made under incredible stress and time pressure and you
will make the best choices you can.
So remember - first and foremost,
by taking care of yourself, you will also be taking care of your baby.
Anna Walton,
Psychological Therapist and Child Development Specialist
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